Enjoying a sweet dessert sensation from McDonald’s this afternoon, I noticed some highly unusual packaging. Here’s a hint:

She’s my cherry pie
Cool drink of water
Such a sweet surprise
Tastes so good make a grown man cry
Sweet cherry pie
Oh yeah

(Warrant – Cherry Pie)

This item on the value menu seemed to be communicating a subliminal message to me. It’s almost like Warrant wrote the copy on the box.

Let’s break it down, shall we?

1. Cherry Pie. ‘Enuf said.
2. Check out the guy with the wraparound shades.*
3. Check out the smirk on the guy with the wraparound shades, aimed right at you.
4. That smirk’s lecherous intent is further exaggerated by the tag line: “i’m lovin’ it”
5. What’s with the girlfriend, in a clearly submissive pose? A $1.49 pie causes this kind of reaction? Maybe if you’re stoned … or baked, as the kids might say.
6. Her reaction is clearly reminiscent of 80s hair metal videos. She might as well be posing across a Jaguar.
7. “CAUTION: FILLING IS HOT!” Might as well finish that consumer safety warning off with an imperative: “GIRLFRIEND! HOT I SAID!”

For the younger crowd, Warrant’s Cherry Pie might not be familiar as a hair metal song, but as part of the audition sequence in the cheerleading flick “Bring it on!”. (Youtube, skip to 6:33)

*Or are those Vuarnet sunglasses?

[tags] hair metal, cherry pie, warrant, Mcdonalds, value menu [/tags]