Canuckflack

Yesterday, I broke with habit, I abandoned a now-established tradition. I called a 1-800 number to make a reservation.

And the customer service representative tried to game me - and the system - twice!

One on the price, and a second time on the after-service quality survey.

Since I have such low standards for call centre CSRs, I expected to be bluffed with a higher room rate, even as I quoted from the website.

Once we had finished the call, though, she asked if I would mind taking a few minutes to answer an automated survey on the quality of her service.

Then she lays this on me:

“…If you thought my service was acceptable, you can just answer 5 to every question…”

Talk about skewing the results!

Ever the contrarian, I followed her instructions - but pressed 5 even before the automated voice had finished the question. My goal? to make sure the system knew something was wonky with their survey.

It worked. At the end of the “few minutes,” another automated voice noted that my answers had seemed unusual, and offered me the opportunity to leave a voice comment about my experience.

Well, not really luxury. More like the perks you used to expect when traveling by air. This is from a recent New York Times article about US Airways:

“…Another employee wondered in October 2006: “Why can we not get better quality snack items for our coach customers? One customer recently compared the generic pretzel nubs we serve to the fish food you buy in a .25 gumball machine at any zoo or park.”

Actually, fish food would appear to be too costly. “We’ve worked with our purchasing team,” management explained, “to bring in many companies to compete on our main cabin tidbit item (pretzels). To date, no one has been able to match our current cost, about 3 cents per package.” (NY Times)

h/t to Nan.

Well, with the oldest-living Queen launching a YouTube channel* in time for her Christmas Message, I’m feeling more than a little flummoxed. This sure isn’t the tradition I remember from my childhood - which was more along the lines of “What do you mean, she’s on all FOUR channels!!!”

Over at Crying All The Way to the Chip Shop, Lee spent some time earlier this month discussing why Britain doesn’t have the same great tradition of “road songs” as the United States. There are obvious geographic limitations - what with Britain being tiny and all - but he argues that there is also a cultural and spiritual chasm between the two countries as well:

“…The truth is, we (Brits, that is) don’t look at life and see endless bright horizons and dream big dreams, we’re a gloomy, glass-half-empty kind of people and who find idealistic American positivity a little embarrassing and phony. Americans, bless their hearts, do still say things like “you can be anything you want to be” and believe it (despite evidence to the contrary) because they’re happily unburdened by history while we’ve had way too much of it and frankly can’t work up the enthusiasm for anything anymore as a result. We built an empire and won a bunch of wars and now we just want to put our feet up and enjoy England’s plucky failures …

These days the stubborn refusal to “have a nice day” feels like a defiant poke in the eye of today’s noisy, amped-up consumer culture (created by America, of course) which bangs you over the head with its global franchises, useless gadgets, trashy television, and blinged-up celebrities. In the face of that, being miserable old bastards may be the last thing we have to hold on to that’s truly ours”.

Here in Canada, we have the worst of both worlds: a faint tie to British history and past glories, a tremendously long and expansive horizon, and very little history of our own.

That means we measure our voyages in hours (”How far?” “About four and a half hours.”) and our travelogues tend to be overladen with descriptions of the scenery (”Trees. Loads and loads of trees. Oh, and an iron mine.”).

Unless you’re driving through Saskatchewan, which is three hours of flat. And a uranium mine.

We’re really into that whole consumerism thing, though. And the franchises. A mall or a neighbourhood can’t really be considered to have “made it” until it’s overburdened with American franchises.

*or ,as The Register notes, “One would like to wish you a Happy 2.0 Christmas”

Technorati Tags: England, Half English, nostalgia, Empire, Queen, consumerism

• A Google Maps guide to driving between Santa Claus, Indiana and Christmas, Florida.
• AKQA’s neon hamster wheel (which apparently isn’t sh*t)
• Frank Best’s greeting card for failed cold calls (you want to read this)
• IStudio’s Do Not Want ads.
• McKinney’s SnowGlobe Boy (staffer lived in an inflatable globe in the lobby)
• Dave mentioned the greeting from Twist Image
• Kate has built a comprehensive list of online Christmas cards (here, here, and here)

Merry Christmas to you all!

Technorati Tags: Christmas cards, advertising agency

I’ve been digging through the archives (more than 1300 posts) for something suitably intelligent and prescient to post in anticipation of BuzzCanuck’s 1% army bracket.

Instead, I’ve come up with a thought - two and a half years old - that seems right off the pages of this week’s Strumpette.

Ketchum, Williams, Rosen and the wood shed

Jay Rosen has rightly taken the PR blogging community to the wood shed for our (relative) lack of commentary on the Williams/Ketchum contract.

Many PR bloggers DID comment on the controversy - even those of us who do not work or live in the United States. Nonetheless, we can be critcized for not feeding this important debate on PR ethics at the speed or volume expected by most inhabitants of the blogosphere.

Not that we’re dealing with an isolated case. As Jeremy pointed out, the industry seems to be backsliding when it comes to transparency and ethical behaviour.

Public relations has long harboured underhanded operatives and unscrupulous tactics: the only way to demonstrate our commitment to open, honest and two-way communication is with the unstinting and outspoken leadership of prominent professionals, firms and associations (maybe even bloggers!) in the industry.

Neville Hobson, among others, hit the nail on the head when he asked where our professional associations have been hiding during this ethical imbroglio.

Several bloggers have suggested the associations’ low-key reaction may be a defensive tactic, designed to preserve their relationship with prominent members and sponsors.

If so, what is the worth of their codes of ethics? Are they just another page in a boring membership package, or a laminated plaque for the firm’s lunch room?

But why was the PR blogging community so subdued in its reaction? Why didn’t a feeding frenzy of debate and recrimination erupt, as in other parts of the blogosphere, building and tearing down arguments by the minute?

This, I think, reflect the differing motivations of the global PR blogger community: as Steve and Jeremy point out, we have individual areas of interest and concentration, and we don’t necessarily jump on the issue of the day when writing for our blogs.

Of course, our collective reaction could simply reflect natural aversion of all PR pros to becoming part of the story.

And that would be a shame.

Originally posted January 20, 2005.

Technorati Tags: public relations ethics, PRSA, CPRS, IABC, ethical blogging, values, morals

“You bring the drinks, and I got the buns …. I got a hot dog in each hand …” Detroit Cobras (Hot Dog)

Today, a little lesson in how to convince people to wedge a casing full of leftover animal parts into their mouth. Mmmmmmmmmm!

Maybe you could offer custom ketchup and relish packets, as part of your wedding catering package.

Every tasty snack can benefit from a little personalization - even a self moisturizing demon dog.

Mak Reitman, the lone instructor at Hot Dog University, makes some key points about targeted marketing for the lone food service cart in the Chicago Reader:

“…“I once tried selling chicken noodle soup. I couldn’t give it away,” Reitman tells Council. “Someone’s coming to you, they’re expecting to buy a hot dog. Doing one thing and doing it well—that’s the key.” He won’t even sell sides that traditionally go with hot dogs: “Potato chips—I’m not having anything to do with them.”

“…Once when Reitman knew he’d have to share a spot with another vendor during a multiday festival, he says, “I had Vienna Beef give me 1,000 paper hats. I gave one to every kid and every adult that would wear one. They did all the advertising for me. The other guy was seething.”…

“… little freebies make the customer happy. When four young women come up to the cart to place an order, he offers each a piece of gum. “Dubble Bubble! Yay!” he says. “Yaaaaay!” they repeat in unison and proceed to order a substantial amount of food.”

My sweet onion relish lord - the owner of Pittsburgh’s Franktuary walks around in a hot dog costume. That’s a lot more embarrassing than simple doorhangers.

But less entertaining than the sausage race at Milwaukee Brewers games.
Thanks to Photoshop, we can move millions of buns and dogs on the gigantic Oscar Meyer Boeing Large Cargo Freighter.

In the ultra competitive world of roadside food service, it might help to win something like NY’s Vendy Award.
More Detroit Cobras … on myspace.

Technorati Tags: hot dog carts, mustard, relish, oscar meyer, weiner, sausage

Lifted straight from a post by Steve Portigal, the principal in “a boutique firm that brings together user research, design and business strategy”.  Read it. Live it.  

1. Quit worrying about jargon
2. Think more broadly about which people you want to learn about
3. Garbage in, garbage out
4. Give other people the space to tell their stories
5. Follow up, and then follow up, and then follow up
6. Do you really want to use a survey? Probably not.
7. Collect and use natural language
8. Don’t forget that any research process with real live humans is hard
9. Breathe their air
10. Learning anything new requires rapport, and building rapport takes time
11. Finding insights requires pattern matching, creativity, synthesis
12. Personas are user-centered bullshit
13. Phil McKinney says “You’re probably not listening.”
14. Practice noticing stuff and telling stories
15. Do some improv
16. Embrace pop culture
17. Don’t forget about culture and social norms 

Technorati Tags: Steve Portigal, user research, consumer research

Knitting stores can feel very intense. Walls and shelves packed with wool, patterns and buttons. Magazine racks bursting with specialist magazines and pattern books. The staff can be quiet or loud, but are usually wearing something knitted. They have that focused but� happy air found among people who have found a job they love (most of the time). Their skill is with needles and yarn, not the point-of-sale systems or planograms, which is why I was surprised to find Men in Knits: Sweaters to knit that he WILL wear on the book shelf.

Men in Knits presents a novel approach to the standard knitting book, which generally reads like this: short intro, glossy picture of fetchy model in bulky knits, then abbreviated and coded directions to knit said garment.

Instead, this book was was� planned� as� a guide to help� a woman knitter bridge the psychological and sartorial divide with her significant other.It’s a brief mix of pop� psychology, basic retail strategy and a brief introduction to emotional intelligence for the knitter. For example, this basic advice for a knitter considering a project for her significant other:

“If he says he will not wear a sweater, he probably isn”t kidding.”

“The sweater represents hours and hours focused on him, and that freaks him out. He starts to think you are more into him than he is into you.”

This advice is aimed at avoiding the apparently “dreaded boyfriend curse“: a boyfriend unprepared for receiving a handknitted gift frequently becomes an ex-boyfriend.

Also included is a “personal style worksheet” to help the both of you work through what patterns and styles would best suit the BF. Some hints:

• Let him diagnose himself
• Go shopping with him
• Show him images from catalogs evaluate his wardrobe

Speaking as a guy, all this would make me feel unsettled and testy.

Technorati Tags: emotional intelligence, EQ, knitting

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They say one unhappy customer will help poison ten prospective customers. What to think of John Peters then? A regular at an outlet of the local Works Gourmet Burger Bistro, Mr. Peters was so struck with their continuing good service that he bought a 1/32 ad praising the restaurant and staff.

Printed in the restaurant directory of the latest edition of the monthly Bytowne Cinema Guide, the ad could eventually be read by an urban audience of thousands interested in alternative, independent and international films. I don’t want to stereotype the clientele at the Bytowne, but many would be predisposed to buying an upscale gourmet burger in a comfortable environment. It’s extremely effective targeted marketing.

Lord knows, I noticed it and I have no intention of eating at an Ethiopian or vegan restaurant (also advertised).

I called the restaurant - Mr. Peters is a regular, and this is not an ad placed by the company.

Technorati Tags: customer evangelism, WOM, word of mouth, buzz

I’m really juggling my thoughts about the anti-clown campaign launched by a New York law firm. If you haven’t heard, this firm has started sending out cease-and-desist letters to local clowns who portray popular children’s characters at birthday parties and the like. Included in the forbidden frivolity are Barney, Thomas the Tank Engine, Bob the Builder and Scholastic’s Clifford the Big Red Dog.

There’s a legitimate concern about protecting brand attributes and trademarks here, as the VP for Scholastic points out:

“… “It’s very important we help children only see Clifford in environments we think he represents,'’ she said, adding that Scholastic does allow Clifford to attend community and library events but not individual parties.

“Anyone would understand it’s an important property of Scholastic and that we protect our rights and protect children from ever having a bad experience around any of our properties,'’ she said.”

Imagine the psychological damage that can be inflicted by a poorly trained corporate mascot? But why would companies make available a wide range of endorsed birthday party materials if they didn’t want uncontrolled brand mascot experiences developed in the home environment?

After all, don’t we all prefer a perhaps mildly intoxicated parent in a rented costume over a somewhat professionally trained entertainer with at least a passing interest in movement studies and a disturbingly detailed knowledge of the effective application of makeup?

Or do we prefer brand experiences like the Kool Aid Man bursting through your wall. (now with legally required Dane Cook audio clip)

BTW - have you seen the (relatively) new ads for the Tomato McGrand burger, on sale in Japan? Imagine Ronald McDonald, as portrayed by J.T. or Michael Jackson. (YouTube)

Hat tip to MediaPost for the pointer.

I have one word for you, kids. Personalization. It’s the only thing that’s keeping you from having to compete tooth and nail for work with a far better educated young man or woman with a stronger grasp on grammar who just happens to live in India, Kenya, South Africa or Tasmania.

” In fact, outsourcing is so easy that I had this speech today written by a young man named Panjeeb from Bangalore. If you don’t like the jokes, I assure you they were much funnier in Urdu.” (Stephen Colbert, speaking to a Knox College commencement)

So put some effort into your work, instead of phoning it in. it’s not the size of the media list, it’s how you use it. Your media list may be lengthy, but does it eventually get to the point? Does your pitch, your newsletter article, your speech actually relate in a meaningful way to your intended audience?

If the answer’s no, I hear there are great opportunities in the food service sector.

Retailers may just have a problem with cooties and/or lurgi, that imaginary childhood plague that infects by association. The perception that an item has been handled or - gasp - even tried on can significantly affect a costumer’s decision to buy. Customers may want to handle, sniff or feel while making their buying decision, but it better be a pristine and virgin piece of merchandise.

The proof? A study by a trio of Canadian and U.S. consumer researchers has produced:

” … a theory of consumer contagion, whereby consumers are thought to contaminate the products they touch, consequently lowering evaluations and purchase intentions of other consumers for the same products.”

Apparently, these perceptioon of cooties on a product is magnified by the customer’s proximity to the well-known habitat of other, smellier and less careful, consumers: “…when the product was located in the dressing room or on the return rack, consumers may have thought the product had been more recently contaminated compared to when it was located on the regular rack.”

Knowledge@A.P.Carey describes their experiment:

The team added three variables to the process in order to test customer reaction to different levels of contamination, based on the proximity to previous contact, time elapsed since contact, and the number of contact sources:

· In the “close” contamination scenario, the sales associate informed the customer that somebody else was trying the shirt on. The associate then took the customer to a dressing room, where they waited while the contaminating customer exited the dressing room, leaving the shirt behind.

· For “medium” contamination, the customer was told the shirt was “over here on the return rack,” and was guided by the sales associate to that location, where the shirt hung.

· For the “far” scenario, the customer was merely told the shirt “is just over here on the rack” and taken to a regular display rack located a few feet away from the return rack.

At no point did the customer see anyone else — either the sales associate or the other customer — actually touch the shirt.”

The result? A distinct perception of customer cooties by participants.

How can retailers react to these results? By: clearly separating their merchandising areas from the display shelves; keeping the changing rooms clean and free of “soiled” clothing; limiting the number of on-floor samples available for “touching”; and regular tidying of their on-floor displays.

An area I’d like to see explored in future research is the impact of perceptions of “customer contagion” in the context of discount or factory outlet shops. The merchandising at Filene’s or a J. Crew outlet is always a constant battle against touching, trying and discarding, yet the apparent disorder only seems to increase (my) perception that deals are to be had and that the items on display (on the rack or on the floor) are desirable.

Perhaps management at these types of stores, long accustomed to dealing with customer’s perceptions of use, abuse and disgust, have learnt to manipulate pricing models to move merchandise despite those perceptions. For example: an easily washable dirt mark means 10% discount. Wrinkles on returned prom dress means 60% discount. Evident sweat stain on returned prom dess means 90% discount. White stain on blue Gap dress means …

More details from the study itself: “Consumer Contamination: How Consumers React to Products Touched by Others“, by Jennifer J. Argo, Darren W. Dahl, and Andrea C. Morales in the April 2006 issue of the Journal of Marketing.

Apologies for the affront to the collective genius of Frankie Goes To Hollywood/Edwin Starr. What is the true, quantifiable, worth of corporate social responsibility? Aside from polishing up Nike’s annual report? Or pulling a veil over the dirty workings of international oil conglomerates? Wal-mart must be wondering that as it tries to marshall positive voices in favour of its banking application, currently being heard by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation. Voices like Andrew Young and the Salvation Army.

Arrayed against the corporation, it seems, is every community bank in the country, local activists, and a sizable number of members of Congress. And the Wal-mart haters. Wal-mart flavoured haterade must be on sale, because there are some people with some real issues speaking out on this banking application:

“walmart has decided to try to rule the world. The stores and their domination are bad enough. If they have control of a financial institution it could be a disaster. All their friendly, good old boy, we’re with you America ads are just a sham. They are out for one thing, the all mighty dollar, and it has to go into their pocket. I’m not fooled by their folksy attitude one bit. If they control a bank in any area they control the area, if you’re not with them, you’re against them and you get no loan for your new business.” (FDIC submission, .pdf)

Hearings are on now at the FDIC offices in Virginia, and:

“At times, the hearing felt more like a referendum on Wal-Mart’s integrity than the wisdom of allowing it to open a bank, with friends and foes of the retailer marshaling character witnesses. Testimony touched on Wal-Mart’s role in port security, its efforts to recover missing children, the generosity of its health insurance plan and the cost of a shovel at its stores.”

(New York Times)

The corporation’s certainly facing an uphill battle. The lobbying battle against the application seems to be led, in part, by the Independent Community Bankers of America. Common themes, and phrases, run through many of the letters filed with the FDIC. Quite a few seem awfully similar, like the 49 or more nearly identical letters from the Citizen’s Tri-County Bank.

I understand the value, from the pespective of sheer quantity and physical impact, of organizing a petition or letter campaign. But what is the real effect of all that work (or, in the case of an online email campaign, not that much work)?

Research with members of Congress has shown that form letters, or letters that are evidently the product of an organized lobbying or petitioning campaign, are discounted by politicians. Communicating with Congress: How Capitol Hill is Coping with the Surge in Citizen Advocacy, prepared by the Congressional Management Foundation, provided quantitative and qualitative backing for this finding:

“I wish that outside groups would understand that overwhelming our office with form letters does
more harm than good for their causes.”

—House Correspondence Staffer

“One hundred form letters have less direct value than a single thoughtful letter generated by a constituent
of the Member’s district.”

—House Correspondence Staffer

“In cases where the Member/Senator has not reached a firm decision on an issue, 44% of staff surveyed said that individualized postal communications have “a lot” of influence, compared to 3% for identical form communications. As one House staff member noted, personal communications are more effective than form messages “because the recipient knows that the author was truly motivated by the issue.”

Technorati:Wal-mart haterade CSR

Your next drive-thru order at MacDonald’s may not be taken by a sweaty, slightly overweight and harried assistant manager with an ill fitting corporate dress shirt. If you’re in Hawaii, the person asking you about supersizing may in fact be over a thousand miles away - in Santa Maria, California.

Thanks to low-cost VOIP, centralized call centres and a standardized menu, remote order-taking has arrived.

MacDonald’s executives first floated the idea at a retail conference a year ago.

“”You have a professional order taker with strong communications skills whose job is to do nothing but take down orders,” said Matthew Paull, McDonald’s chief financial officer.

Paull said a “heavy percentage” of complaints the company receives are from drive-thru customers who got the wrong order. “Even if 95% of the time it is right, those 5% are very upset with us,” he said. (USA Today)

Today, the NYT details how one call centre 150 miles from L.A. is serving drive-thrus in Mississippi, Wyoming and Hawaii - among 40 locations.

“When the customer pulls away from the menu to pay for the food and pick it up, it takes around 10 seconds for another car to pull forward. During that time, [Doug King, CEO of the outsourcing firm Bronco] said, his order-takers can be answering a call from a different McDonald’s where someone has already pulled up.

The remote order-takers at Bronco earn the minimum wage ($6.75 an hour in California), do not get health benefits and do not wear uniforms. Ms. Vargas, who recently finished high school, wore jeans and a baggy white sweatshirt as she took orders last week. (New York Times)

I can see one benefit to the consumer: an outsourced call centre may be able to provide better service in spanish - if the right order-taker picks up. I don’t know whether these order-takers will be immediately familiar with local condiment or combo preferences.

Really, are we going to revert back to the old Automat restaurants, with giant displays of prepared food ready for sale at the drop of a quarter? It’s bad enough I can see the teenage “cook” take the sausage patty for my Egg Mcmuffin out of a plastic warming tray - like an Easy Bake oven - without dropped data packets ruining the call and completely depersonalizing the experience.

Remember, at lunchtime, Skype “Ronald’s McNuggets”

For further commentary, American Public Radio reported on the use of call centres in fast food in January 2005.

So you crave unvarnished customer feedback, do you? Need to validate your focus group results with on-the-street commentary? How about these comments from “Celeb Sniff & Scratch Test: Many Stars Are Peddling Scents. But Does Eye Candy Really Smell Like That?” in yesterday’s Washington Post?

… “Is this Britney’s? It is, huh?” asked Ginny Gettemeier, 28, a communications manager. She guessed right. “It smells slutty. It smells cheap. It smells like the stuff I wore in fifth grade.” She used to wear Electric Youth by Debbie Gibson. “(WaPo)

Funny thing - the Gibson/Spears-Federline lineage is popping up in more than one place:

“… I was in Macy’s in NYC recently, and I walked by a big perfume display that smelled exactly like Debbie Gibson’s Electric Youth. Was it possible they had re-released the fragrance I loved as a teen? Nope. It was a display for Britney Spears’ new Fantasy perfume. I love the idea that they’re rebranding Debbie Gibson’s popstar scent for a new generation. I can’t figure out who the manufacturer of Electric Youth was, but if it’s the same company, I bet they just mixed up a new batch and put Britney’s name on it. If it’s a different company, something smells stolen.”(Pop Crazy)

Technorati: branding britney debbie gibson experiential