- Pick An Unusual Name - hyphens, adverbs and acronyms will always make you seem smarter and better qualified.
“David St. Hubbins … I must admit I’ve never heard anybody with that name.
It’s an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he’s not a very well known saint.
What was he the saint of?
He was the patron saint of quality footwear.”
- Never Explain Why Your Staff Are Leaving - the only value your agency will bring to the table is in the assumed experience of your team. If they’re jumping ship, think up a better excuse or the business will crash.
“You know, several, you know, dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It’s just not really widely reported.”
- Suck Every Ounce of Credibility From Each One Of Your Engagements – it’s not really a secret, but social media gigs are not the largest piece of the pie. Each and every one of your projects must be coloured, magnified, even exaggerated to imply that your agency continues to grow – in revenues, in influence and in market share.
“I’ve told them a hundred times: put ‘Spinal Tap’ first and ‘Puppet Show’ last.”
- Exaggerate The Impact Of Your Tools – social media is the solution to all of the marketing world’s problems, will being communities together and will wash the stink of countless poor business decisions from your client.
“Why don’t you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
[pause] These go to eleven.”
- Attack Your Detractors – inevitably, you will be criticized for your work, for parroting the propaganda of other social media acolytes or for being the groomsman on the social media bandwagon. Stay firm in your convictions, and your knowledge that you have a three year lease on the office.
“This tasteless cover is a good indication of the lack of musical invention within. The musical growth of this band cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry.”
That’s just nitpicking, isn’t it?”
- Don’t Let History, Experience Or The Blunt Force Of Reality Dampen Your Spirits – there are naysayers out there. Even three years into what we continue to argue is a fundamental shift in the economic and social fabric of at least 5% of the world’s economy, we are continually asked to justify the social media spend. Just push through and keep selling the story.
“In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people… the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing… “
- Learn to Work A Room – Like A Bus Station Hooker – as a small agency in a world dominated by multi-nationals, look for every opportunity to differentiate yourself and promote your skills. Jump at every chance to “promote your brand” and sell your particular brand of social media expertise. Work the conference circuit so aggressively it seems like you’ve forgotten where you actually call home.
[tags] social media agency, business development, Spinal Tap, conference, speaker, Nigel Tufnel [/tags]