It seems the All-Party Small Shops Group, a group of British MPs, suspects that further measures are needed to ensure all Britons have fair and competitive access to supermarket goods across the land.

Nothing like the scrutiny of an ombudsman and an MP’s group to keep the price of peas fair for all.

Says their Chair:

“We need an ombudsman so that people can refer complaints to them but also to take a broader view on supermarkets. The Department of Trade and Industry is adopting a hands-off approach with supermarkets, but we have regulators for all kinds of industries, so why not for this sector?

“While it need not be something heavy handed in the way that it has been with railways, people have got to have someone who can address their complaints if they are suffering as a result of unfair practices.” (Times of London)

Would you like to be the poor customer service rep in that sort of organization? Taking calls about coupon cashing policies, the lack of shopping carts at urban locations, and “why don’t they carry Tilson cheese at that shop on High Street?”

Call me a free market fanatic, but if unbearably small profit margins and growing price pressure from new formats are forcing consolidation in the supermarket industry, I would bet that greater regulation and oversight would not lessen the price of cheese strings or Ryvita crackers.

It would, however, open up another line of business for British communications shops – all those customer feedback forms for supermarkets across the country, inevitable trade show booths offering government customer service training videos, and an inane PSA campaign about the new rating system: “We stack the groceries, so you don’t have to.”