Canuckflack

Have you ever been sitting in on an interview with a senior executive, and you can just feel the tone and direction of the conversation change? Your years of media relations, your gut feeling, just tell you that this isn’t going turn out well, despite the tasty mochachinos charged to your tab just fifteen minutes ago? You even covered the bagel and lox!

Your spokesperson is being pushed into a difficult area - one he struggled through during your pre-interview:

“… you get the impression that you are addressing an elaborately wired security system. If the conversation edges toward areas in which he feels ill at ease or unwilling to commit himself, burglar alarms are triggered off, defensive reflexes rise around him like an invisible stockade, and you hear the distant baying of guard dogs…”

That’s from Kenneth Tynan’s 1978 New Yorker profile of Johnny Carson.

Apparently, the Dem’s loss on November 2 can be correlated with taking long hikes in the woods without the proper protection against deer ticks: long socks, long pants, long sleeved shirts and bug repellent. Just the sort of behaviour you’d expect from citified NorthEastern liberals (:-)

Two scientists have managed to turn rather mundane research into lyme disease occurrences into a nice little news bite:

“A map showing results from the last presidential election is “remarkably similar” to a map of the distribution of cases of Lyme disease, a brief article in the current Lancet (r.r.) medical journal points out.

The 19 “blue states” - those won by Senator John Kerry - account for 95 percent of the cases of Lyme disease reported in 2002, they wrote. The disease, caused by bacteria that are carried by deer ticks, is concentrated in the Northeast and Midwest.”

… [As one of the authors speculated]: “We do not believe, however, that tick-borne diseases are likely to be a major factor in the 2008 presidential election.”(NYTimes)

The lesson for public relations pros: be creative when looking for a news hook. Don’t get bogged down in the details of your story - there may be a more appealing angle just waiting to be communicated.

And hope to god your technical experts are open to the suggestion.

And another brand-building tactic takes a punch to the kidneys. Brand managers, formerly pleased as punch to have committed consumers/customer evangelists tout their product and their brand in forum postings and home-cooked ads, are discovering that brand management requires better monitoring and more precise messaging in our new world of social networks and virals.

Just ask VW. The company’s marketing and executive teams have just spent a week weathering speculation about the corporate motives behind the “car bomber” ad currently coursing across the ‘net. Ongoing doubt about their role in the creation of the shocking short have prompted the “c-suite” to flip to tab “m” of the crisis communications plan - call in the lawyers (Guardian, r.r.).

Normally, lawyers only pop out of the backroom when serious regulatory action is about to be announced. Or when the entire executive team has been fired. In this case, VW obviously felt a stronger gesture was needed as part of their corporate communications mix.

It’s a smart move. Online, we all buzzed about VW’s relationship to the ad and its authors. Even claims of innocence and admissions of guilt did nothing to quiet the buzz.

What were Lee and Dan, the ostensible authors, thinking when they released this ad? Despite their attempts at positioning their ad as demonstrating the VW Polo is a “safe car” I have to think they must have been oblivious to the real and daily threat posed by car bombings in other more distant countries, like Iraq, Afghanistan, the Phillippines, Sri Lanka, Spain, Northern Ireland … Oh. They must just be run-of-the-mill gits.

I think ad-rag hit the nail on the head with their imagined interview last week:

adland: What’s next?
Dan: Cannes?

This ad was produced in an attempt to turn heads at DDB London, VW’s AOR. Lee and Dan likely thought it would prompt quite a bit of talk at the agency water cooler/drinks cart.

But realistically - where was selling proposition? How did this ad actually intend to drive customers to VW dealerships? I’m not arguing that every ad or every tactic has to be practical and throroughly planned and managed - but how detached from reality do creatives have to be?

Promo Magazine reports on comments made by Dean M. Barrett, the senior-VP global marketing for McDonald’s, at the Association of National Advertisers meeting yesterday.

“As for fashion, watch for Ronald McDonald to appear in a whole new wardrobe that includes everything from the looks of a snowboard dude to a business executive (still wearing those big red shoes, of course).


Along with his new duds, Ronald got a new title: CHO or “chief happiness officer.” There are new uniforms in Germany, Denmark and the U.K., as well as other apparel like hats and T-shirt designed around the “I’m lovin’ it” theme. A new line of branded-active wear will debut next year.”

There are some other observations about McDonald’s shift in strategy, from marketing products and menus to entertaining the consumer through partnerships in music, sports, fashion and entertainment.

Here’s some food for thought out of the giant gab-fest at Davos:

“Not everyone is convinced that China will make the transition to the knowledge-economy, particularly given India’s head start, but if China is successful in building global brands Western companies may be forced to design their products with that market in mind.

“As the Chinese consumer pool grows, China will increasingly set international standards,” said Matthew Anderson, chief executive of Ogilvy PR for the Asia-Pacific region, the biggest public relations company in China.” (IHT)

As BusinessWeek noted last week, the retail wars have begun. American and European companies are adapting their products and marketing to meet the demands of the Chinese market.

But how will the global marketing and public relations environment adapt once China’s economic growth allows it to look outward and begin to flex its economic muscle in international markets other than natural resources, clothing and electronics?

The “China Price” represents a generational shift in international economic influence. How are you planning for your business to prosper 2, 10, 15 years from today?

London is jockeying for position in the race for the 2012 Olympics, and some bid leaders suspect their cause may be harmed by an apparent lack of enthusiasm among Britons for the exercise. Apparently, the current slogans “Make Britain Proud” and “Back the Bid” aren’t hitting all the necessary emotional buttons.

A group of London ad execs have knocked their heads together to come up with a slogan to convince the Olympic bid committee, visiting next month, that London is committed to hosting the Games. It’s a real winner: “We want it more.”

The participating ad agencies will be negotiating with their clients to feature the slogan on strategic billboards in areas to be visited by the bid committee.

Oh, to think of the old days, when prospective host cities could show they wanted it more with simple gestures: envelopes full of travellers cheques, comped holidays, and free grad school for bid committee relatives.

Have you ever watched testimony on CPAC or CSPAN and wondered “what is that witness thinking right now?”

Warren Kinsella’s testifying before the Gomery Commission on the Government of Canada sponsorship program, and he’s been looking forward to it all week. Just read this excerpt from his blog:

Today I finally get to tell our side of the story - I hope. I fully expect the capable barrister Neil Finkelstein will be working overtime to stop me from saying anything remotely positive about what Messrs. Chretien, Dingwall and Kinsella did in the 1994 and 1995 period. But, again, that will prove my central criticism of this judicial circus, won’t it? And, as y’all know, it won’t stop your buddy Warren from saying what he has to say - in the corridor to the media afterwards, or on this little web site.
During the course of the day, I will be posting - or attempting to - pithy Gomery Pyle Commission updates that will be time-stamped. And, to emphasize the above-noted “circus” theme, my guys have put together a little aural and visual tableau. We will also, hopefully, be running digitized feeds of me giving sworn testimony.

Of course, being a politics junky and eager for any tips on communicating under stressful situations, I’m watching Warren on CPAC. Oh! What a rejoinder! Beautiful stonewalling! He’s turning the lead counsel’s question back at him! Magnificent!

I got a pitch yesterday for a new book (which I’ll mention another time if I find it’s useful), and the pitch prompted me to look at some white papers pulled together by a San Francisco agency called Plan B - one of which cites the poem (?) excerpted below. Mark Lewman, apparently their Creative Director, wrote this back in 2001.

THE COOLHUNTER

I prepare trend reports for fortune 1000 companies.
I am paid to play
the disenfranchised against the disrespected
make the F1000 feel connected
to the cognosumers who reject them,
stuck in the cultural crosshairs.

… And some guy in a conference room in Ohio says into his speakerphone:
“Tell me more about the Krautrock movement and the abstract bands.”
I spit out details to counteract,
and wipe my face with my cuff,
generating more fluff,
without concentrating on the end result,
just the next step which is an orchestrated effort to tap into tech step. …

Read the rest. Really.

MSLO’s stock is going up, likely driven by squeezed short-sellers and the irrational exuberance of die-hard Martha Stewart fans. She’s due out on March 6 - and her friends, advisors and employees have begun planning the next scene in an already event-rich herstory (housewife/stockbroker/home maven/ex-felon).

Remember way back in the fall of 2004? When we were all younger and more naiive? Millions of dollars were poured into a public relations campaign trying to shape perception among possible jurors in NYC and surrounding counties. Web postings helped Martha speak directly to her fans, in the process adding a layer of humanity to her (brand) identity.

Her friends have visited and are recounting how well she’s handling her prison term. Apparently, the prison yard yields edible greens, and she’s taken up crocheting to pass the time. She’s become interested in the re-integration of female convicts into society.

The cynic in me has to ask: has this brief stay in the big house had a life-changing effect on everyone’s favourite housemistress? Will her interests change? Will she wield some of her influence to benefit her ex-roomies (or even better, convicts at other, more harsh, institutions?)

We’ll have to see. Today, Mark Burnett’s working on a daytime talk show for Martha. Media planners are upbeat about the prospects for MSLO’s new Martha-light magazine. Executives at MSLO are trying to plan for Martha’s new role in the company.

You can only hope Martha will pull a Milken.

The NYTimes has more detail, and some interesting if vacuous comments from brand experts.

Salon’s got a funny (and dirty) piece on working as a copy editor at a skin mag:

Never before having sold out in large degree or small, I was gratified to discover that smut editing filled up the larder with jars and jars of organic baby food.

At a rate that boiled down to something like $150 per hour, it purchased the extended afternoon session at day care. I was fast becoming the envy of colleagues who had to supplement their incomes by appearing as expert witnesses on “Larry King.”

Jay Rosen has rightly taken the PR blogging community to the wood shed for our (relative) lack of commentary on the Williams/Ketchum contract.

Many PR bloggers DID comment on the controversy - even those of us who do not work or live in the United States. Nonetheless, we can be critcized for not feeding this important debate on PR ethics at the speed or volume expected by most inhabitants of the blogosphere.

Not that we’re dealing with an isolated case. As Jeremy pointed out, the industry seems to be backsliding when it comes to transparency and ethical behaviour.

Public relations has long harboured underhanded operatives and unscrupulous tactics: the only way to demonstrate our commitment to open, honest and two-way communication is with the unstinting and outspoken leadership of prominent professionals, firms and associations (maybe even bloggers!) in the industry.

Neville Hobson, among others, hit the nail on the head when he asked where our professional associations have been hiding during this ethical imbroglio.

Several bloggers have suggested the associations’ low-key reaction may be a defensive tactic, designed to preserve their relationship with prominent members and sponsors.

If so, what is the worth of their codes of ethics? Are they just another page in a boring membership package, or a laminated plaque for the firm’s lunch room?

But why was the PR blogging community so subdued in its reaction? Why didn’t a feeding frenzy of debate and recrimination erupt, as in other parts of the blogosphere, building and tearing down arguments by the minute?

This, I think, reflect the differing motivations of the global PR blogger community: as Steve and Jeremy point out, we have individual areas of interest and concentration, and we don’t necessarily jump on the issue of the day when writing for our blogs.

Of course, our collective reaction could simply reflect natural aversion of all PR pros to becoming part of the story.

And that would be a shame.

Media Week’s got a good read on evolving technologies to measure media use among consumers.

“As Christina Hartley, IPC ad marketing director and chairman of the Media Research Group, suggests, the process is essentially driven by a simple piece of logic.

“We can’t put chips in people; what can we put chips in?” If technophiles and developers have their way, devices armed with sound-matching technology, GPS and radio frequency identification (RFID) tags will soon be in a position to measure consumer exposure not only to radio – as in the current Rajar test – but to TV, online, press and outdoor too.”

So. Should governments use public opinion research, including flash polls, syndicated surveys, consultations and focus groups, to test possible policy options and communications strategies? Or should they save those millions of dollars and just wait for the issues activists, paid lobbyists and professional associations to prime and guide the policy development process?

Jeffrey Simpson, writing in the Globe and Mail, argues that true leadership is missing at the head of the Government of Canada: the 593 assorted public opinion research studies commissioned in 2003-2004, at a cost of $25.4M, are apparently evident proof that our government cannot go to the washroom without directions.

He notes that… “for some years now, every departmental memorandum to the cabinet outlining legislation or some other major initiative has required a “communications plan.” These plans have often driven the need for research, since a department has to show the cabinet that it has already pretested public opinion.”

As communications professionals, we know that POR is an essential component of the planning process: assessing our strategic options, shaping accurate messages, designing products and identifying or eliminating possible tactics.

We’ve all incorporated findings from POR in our strategic advice: it’s only logical and practical to base your observations and recommendations in reality.

That doesn’t mean our advice has to be tied to the findings of POR, nor does it have to be unimaginative or uncontroversial. (insert civil servant joke here)

But one thing’s for certain: if a reporter wants to phone in a column, start with a list of government of contracts and build a straw pyramid of logic on top.

Blogs are a wonderful communications tool, but the shine’s starting to wear off the experience for some information consumers. Just ask Seth Godin:

With corporate blogs and fake blogs and cia blogs and calculated traffic-driving blogs, it’s not authentic media any more.

I’m not whining, here. Instead, I’m pointing it out because your expectations as a reader and a writer have to change. The benefit of the doubt is gone.

Paul Nixon at Nixlog has pulled together a wonderful graphic explaining the logic behind Apple’s price points and market segments for the IPod and Mini Mac. “Apple’s Tipping Point: Macs For The Masses” is well worth a visit.

The pointer’s from Joey - who has also included a great photoshop battle fought between Wintel and Apple supporters. A good laugh - and it rings quite true.

Over at Slate, Dana Stevens had something to say about the speeches at the Golden Globes last night:

“People? You’re professionals receiving a positive job evaluation from your peers, not Alcoholics Anonymous members getting a 10-year sobriety medal. Wear a nice dress, crack a couple of jokes, and go away.”

Quite true, but she should cut the poor glitterati some slack. The International Ballroom at the Beverly Hilton is a strange and confusing environment - even for celebrities.

Every public relations rep has run through the speechmaking basics with their clients: be familiar with your audience and their interests; write notes that speak to the audience at their education and interest level; at the very least, prepare key points you want to cover; rehearse, rehearse, rehearse; and stay sober.

Well, I think we can check off one reason why some of the people on stage were unsteady and nearly uncomprehensible.

Here are some other reasons why actors might muddle a Golden Globes acceptance speech:

- The normal West Coast social strata are reversed, if not abandoned altogether. TV stars from the WB, even PAX, sidle up to $25M a movie stars without compunction.

- There’s a red carpet, but there’s no Kodak Theatre.

- The room, despite CBS’ best efforts, still feels like an off-strip Vegas burlesque show.

- Two hours sitting in the stretch Hummer waiting to hit the red carpet can only means one thing: empty mini-bar.

- Those strange little foreign men at the bar asking Hillary Swank to autograph their biceps.

- Waaay too much Star Reynolds-Jones.

The Guardian’s got a little tidbit about how media planners are using “office theatre” to add flair and drama to their new business presentations.

“… One agency accidentally set the call centre of its client on fire as the result of a pitch stunt. In another, following a successful pitch, an agency director left his notepad, on which he had jotted, “We’re going to have trouble with the c*** in the glasses”, under the nose of the said bespectacled client. Needless to say, the business was taken elsewhere. “

I said “office theatre” because these guys aren’t going to draw any easy comparisons to Steppenwolf Theatre or Beyond the Fringe with these performances. Let’s remember that media planners excel at … planning.

You may have noticed that Wal-Mart launched an advertising campaign across the United States today, designed to hit back at their critics and fill some of the news hole with facts about their operations, staff and overall impact on the economy.

CEO Lee Scott hasn’t enjoyed the continuing opposition tactics deployed by community and labour activitists in towns, counties and countries around the world: “I liken it to being nibbled to death by guppies,” he told WSJ.com.

The campaign includes an open letter from Scott printed in 100 newspapers touting the benefits Wal-mart brings to store associates and communities, and includes a complementary website, www.walmartfacts.com, stuffed with human interest stories and frank economic facts. Personal growth stories from store associates, details about benefits packages, and a town by town breakdown of operations: they’re all there.

Hmm. There’s more information than you would expect from an international retail giant. Local and regional operations are identified explictly, and are often linked to news releases citing the company’s benefits to the community.

It makes sense. After all, if a brand is being demonized with generalizations and sweeping condemnations (not to mention valid class action lawsuits), an appropriate tactic is to personalize the organization, from individual associates and stores upward.

Scott touched on this community strategy in a Q&A with USA Today:

Q: Who are you trying to reach with these ads?

A: There are many aspects to the communications. One of them is in these national, recognizable papers that have a broad audience. But there’s also a concerted effort at a very local level … where our customers and associates really are.

And don’t forget the city councillors, selectmen, county executives, state legislators, governors and members of Congress!

There’s nothing like a nice set of Wal-mart facts, illustrated with pictures of happy associates, to remind them where their bread is buttered!

As part of their new advertising and public outreach campaign, Wal-Mart has created a new website and complementary “Talk with Us” contact page. It’s an open and honest attempt to establish a dialogue with customers, stakeholders and opponents.

One important tactic in creating an effective webpage that produces relevant search results is identifying the right meta tags. In this case, they’re pretty revealing: “… walmart blows, walmart it sucks, walmart stinks, walmart sucks, walmart issues, walmart class action lawsuit, walmart impact on economy, wal-mart impact on community …”

Two other thoughts about the site: say you happen to think Wal-Mart is the embodiment of everything that is soul-less and destructive in modern capitalist society. Would you really sign up for a Wal-Mart newsletter? And should a septuagenarian door “greeter” really be the personification of your new “Talk with Us” identity?

Sometimes, even the simplest of gestures will generate positive coverage for a once ubiquitous celebrity - now working the big rooms opening for Cher.

“Felipe Rose, the Indian dude from the singing group the Village People, presented the National Museum of the American Indian with a framed, gold 45-rpm single of the disco group’s 1978 megahit “Y.M.C.A.” on Wednesday afternoon.

And the museum happily and ceremoniously accepted it (a Lakota prayer was sung first, then everyone danced to “Y.M.C.A.”), on the precept that sooner or later they might need such an artifact of a bygone era, perhaps to flesh out a future exhibit on the folkloric value of disco, and native cultural responses to it.

(No, you shut up. It could happen. Why not? There are only so many ceramic pots, war bonnets and kachina dolls that people can stand to look at, and so when the day comes that someone asks, Hey, what about the Indian dude from the Village People? the Smithsonian, as ever, will be ready.)”

That’s all from Hank Steuver of the WPost.

When a PR firm pays off a commentator, who should be upfront in revealing that information? The commentator, or the firm? Or both?

We all know what’s been happening with Armstrong Williams, the conservative commentator who was paid by Ketchum speak in favour of the No Child Left Behind legislation.

But shouldn’t the PR firm be held somewhat accountable for chasing a contract that blatantly violates journalistic norms and the PRSA code of ethics? Apparently not. The President of the Council of Public Relations Firms, Kathy Cripps, told the NYTimes that:

“”Public relations needs to express total accuracy and truthfulness,” Ms. Cripps said. However, she added, referring to Mr. Williams, “it was the spokesperson’s responsibility to disclose the affiliation” rather than Ketchum’s.”

She added that Ketchum hadn’t violated the Council’s Code of Ethics. Really? How about this part?

“… To preserve both the reality and the perception of professional integrity, … the sources of communications and sponsors of activities will not be concealed.”

Paul Holmes cut to the chase in his assessment for the NYTimes today:

“There are absolutely no circumstances under which this can be an acceptable practice. It’s a colossal error in judgment. It’s wrong on so many levels, I don’t know where to begin.

“This undermines the very value public relations purports to bring to the communication sphere, credibility. And that credibility relies on what people say being earned, not bought.”

If you get caught laying a little astroturf, you should probably take some of the grief as well, don’t you think?

Marmite, the questionable yeast spread, is returning to a familiar but highly strategic theme with its new marketing campaign. Netimperative (via MarketingVox) reports that Unilever is launching dual websites for their Marmite brand - one for the lovers, one for the haters.

Marmite has always prompted wildly differing reactions from consumers. For many Brits the spread continues to be a familiar cultural touchstone, eliciting memories of shared hardship, common food heritage and hearty breakfasts made by Mum. For others, it prompts memories of old trainers and abandoned shipping canals.

Marmite’s marketing efforts have long acknowledged this dual identity. In one TV ad from its 2001 “love-it-or-hate-it” marketing campaign,

“… some young foxtrel drags an unsuspecting gentleman back to her pad. While the young fellow awaits her, the femme fatale guzzles a round of Marmite on toast. Needless to say, he is not overly impressed by her Marmite breath.” (Guardian)

Unilever is in the unique position of managing an internationally-recognized brand that faces established and continuing opposition from a significant segment of consumers - without the normally attendant boycott movements, litigation or vandalism.

There must be a Macdonalds strategist, hunkered down somewhere near HQ in Illinois, trying to figure out how to leverage the horrible McRib and McLean Deluxe to similar results.

Back to the marketing campaign. The new website indulges opponents of the fetid spread with alternative sandwich recipes like “musty offal stew with emmental cheese” or “jam, sand and cheese ciabatta.” The campaign is also supported by a TV ad showing a giant brown gooey ball terrorizing a small village - until some of the panicked villagers realize that it’s only Marmite, and dive right in. (Hint: the ad can only be viewed if you confirm you are in the UK. Hint, hint.)

Still puzzled about the difference between Marmite, Bovril, Vegemite and Promite? The Guardian’s centenary celebration of Marmite explains the differences quite well.

If your client truly trusted your judgement and expertise in generating publicity and media coverage, you too would be able to convince them to build something as whimsical as the yarn bus.

CNN offers a useful automatic email alert service, tied to the themes discussed in the stories on their site. Like this story:

A Conservative party association in the small Welsh town of Delyn is trying to buy back its Web site domain name after it was taken over by pornographers.

The automatic email alerts thoughtfully provided by CNN’s bots? “British Conservative Party” or “Porn”!

Are you a disenchanted poet, disaffected office drone or simply an overly ironic urban trendoid? Then you’ll love these two pages from the catbirdseat:

- Hipster Bingo

- The guide to having good indie rock hair.

Oops. Remember last week, when you used the PIN function on your Blackberry to send a note to your colleague, thinking PIN messages didn’t go through the corporate server? Turns out those secret PIN messages may not be so secret. They may even be open to subpoena. Whaaa?

A nasty lawsuit between CIBC and a group of former bankers is focusing on the frank and uncensored language used by the bankers in emails and Blackberry PIN messages - all of which were archived on CIBC servers and are now playing a large role in court.

How stressed are bankers, lawyers and consultants in Toronto? Here’s something from today’s Globe and Mail:

“I would say that up to today, 99.9 per cent of the world felt this was secure,” said one brokerage official. “I think that’s like finding out there’s no Santa Claus.”

The official said employees in Toronto’s financial district were hounding their information technology departments for answers as to whether BlackBerrys could be monitored. When people chat via PIN messages, they will often communicate things they would not divulge in a regular e-mail, he said.

“If you’ve got a guy’s PIN, it’s like another level of intimacy. It’s like the next level in a relationship on Bay Street.”

Now, don’t get me wrong. I think I’ve made it clear that I really like Malcolm Gladwell’s writing. Blink, his new book, is certainly receiving positive reviews.

Still, I can’t help but think his new catchphrases, like “rapid cognition” and “thin-slicing,” will be manna to consultants looking to freshen up their new biz pitches and corporate retreat powerpoint presentations.

Gladwell’s observations are going to be beaten, bent and bastardized into 2005’s version of horrifics like the “paradigm shift” and “re-engineering.”

Yet, I think “the Warren Harding Error” would make a great name for a really earnest, yet stunningly incompetent, three guitar high school band.

This is a good FC piece on Gladwell as business guru.

Here’s a quick executive’s synthesis of the book.

Stanley Bing’s column in Fortune this week hums a delicate paen of love - and abandonment - to his Blackberry:

“Ah, dangerous love! How many times have I fired off messages, thumbs blazing, while driving down the highway at 70 miles per hour!

Was I mad? Yes. I was insane with the potential of our relationship. It was you and I, and when we were in a zone where we could not communicate, when your bars went down to zero, how often did I lean out the window, drive to high ground, weasel my way to another location to see whether I could bring you to life?”

Fortune took the opportunity to chat up Mr. Clean, the chrome dome spokescharacter for Procter & Gamble’s popular cleaning product.

I guess we shouldn’t expect too much when Fortune feels compelled to note that “P&G company regulations forbid Mr. Clean from giving his real name or answering questions out of character.”

A sample:

“Staying clean all the time comes naturally to me–I’ve perfected my cleaning technique so as to never ever get dirty. And I’m never seen out of my whites. I was recently in a contest for America’s favorite icon, where I competed against the Jolly Green Giant, the Energizer Bunny, and the Michelin Man. We all got along pretty well. The Michelin Man and I shared fashion tips.

Quite a pity, actually. I understand why brand managers closely control their brand identity and associated characters. After all, who wants to find out a knockoff part-time character spent his time between trade show appearances at the local Hooters.

But creative PR folks should always be looking for opportunities to leverage the company’s substantial investment in the character - especially if it speaks clearly and loudly to a valued target audience. After all, shouldn’t your character have more personality than a high school guidance counsellor?

Like the closely-guarded Star Wars franchise and its coveted male 15-29 demo. Earlier this year, a stormtrooper was dispatched to the offices of Maxim magazine to serve as a one day intern. The result? A full page in the magazine, with pictures of the stormtrooper hard at work. Pictures are at the bottom of this page.

Fortune took the opportunity to chat up Mr. Clean, the chrome dome spokescharacter for Procter & Gamble’s popular cleaning product.

I guess we shouldn’t expect too much when Fortune feels compelled to note that “P&G company regulations forbid Mr. Clean from giving his real name or answering questions out of character.”

A sample:

“Staying clean all the time comes naturally to me–I’ve perfected my cleaning technique so as to never ever get dirty. And I’m never seen out of my whites. I was recently in a contest for America’s favorite icon, where I competed against the Jolly Green Giant, the Energizer Bunny, and the Michelin Man. We all got along pretty well. The Michelin Man and I shared fashion tips.

Quite a pity, actually. I understand why brand managers closely control their brand identity and associated characters. After all, who wants to find out a knockoff part-time character spent his time between trade show appearances at the local Hooters.

But creative PR folks should always be looking for opportunities to leverage the company’s substantial investment in the character - especially if it speaks clearly and loudly to a valued target audience. After all, shouldn’t your character have more personality than a high school guidance counsellor?

Like the closely-guarded Star Wars franchise and its coveted male 15-29 demo. Earlier this year, a stormtrooper was dispatched to the offices of Maxim magazine to serve as a one day intern. The result? A full page in the magazine, with pictures of the stormtrooper hard at work. Pictures are at the bottom of this page.