Canuckflack

Great post on being a “nerd” at Marginal Revolution. In addition to pointing out that Dr. Seuss may have coined the term “nerd,” Bryan Caplan lays claim to complete domination of nerd-dom:

I’m such a nerd that I worry that my sons will fail to embrace their nerd heritage. The best game show in history, Beat the Geeks, began by asking each contestant “What’s the geekiest thing about you?” I still wish I could have been a contestant just to give my response:

“I am the Dungeon Master for an all-economists’ Dungeons and Dragons game.” Beat that, geeks!

Staggering.

In its August issue, Promo magazine has run several articles on texting (SMS for you cognoscenti) and possible applications for marketers and loyalty programs. Rob Lawson, a VP at Enpocket, tagged a list of promising SMS applications to the end of his article:

I’m attending the Public Journalism Network’s Exploring Fusion Power of Public and Participatory Journalism conference in Toronto on Tuesday.

Thanks to Sarbanes-Oxley, some publicly listed companies are now being brutally honest about the external factors affecting their financials. Reuters’ Ritu Kalra pointed to a number of reports citing unusual reasons for poor forecasts, including this highlight in Applebee’s latest quarterly report:

As previously disclosed, the company recorded a pre-tax charge of $2.3 million for the write-off of excess riblets inventory which it determined during the second quarter no longer met the company’s quality standards.

Does that mean demand for riblets is declining? Or did they order too many? Is there a philosphical conflict between Applebee’s new Weight Watchers-branded healthy menu and the tasty morsels of processed meat product basted in liquid smoke? (check out the survey on the sidebar of this USA Today story)

Or maybe they just had freezer burn. Hmmm.

This little gem of a time-waster was dropped as a comment on Canuckflack last night.

It reminds me of old Colecovision games - especially because you have to use the directional keys.

You may ask yourself how foreign reporters score interviews at huge political gatherings like the goings-on at the Fleet Centre. Do they come with lists of experts and talking heads fluent in their language? Do they run a Profnet request? Maybe they hang out in Harvard Square looking for French Lit profs?

Paul Wells notes the effective technique employed by one Radio-Canada reporter:

I also saw something trivial but charming which I have heard about but never witnessed: a Radio-Canada radio reporter holding up a sign saying, “PARLEZ-VOUS FRANÇAIS? COME SPEAK TO ME!” It’s how you interview Americans for French-language radio. Does it work?

“Draws them like honey,” my colleague said.

Chances are, you won’t find many Republicans looking to say something nice in French a few weeks from now.

The National Research Council continues to work on a project they call the Cost-effective Open-Plan Environment.Why?

An effective open-plan office must provide environmental satisfaction for its occupants as well as meeting an organization’s budgetary requirements.

As the Globe and Mail tells us today, the NRC’s four years of study have developed two software programs that:

will tell office designers whether their cubicles are too cramped, too dark, too noisy or too drafty. The program will also help employers avoid the all-too-common maze effect in many cubicle colonies.

One program can model how sounds move inside a cubicle and from one work space to another. It can also model how alternate cubicle designs may affect noise patterns from, say, a radio.

The other program helps designers take cost, materials, geometry and user satisfaction into account when selecting cubicle designs. It will help calculate a cost-benefit comparison (Hmmm. If I only use 20 watt bulbs, the financial clerk may suffer eye damage) and offers some measure of user satisfaction with lighting, privacy and ventilation.

I’d say give it a try, but the software does demand a level of familiarity with office construction materials.

Antonia Morton, writing in the National Post, bemoans the poor grammar, mis-spelt words, improper sentence construction and missplaced apostrophes that seem to confront her in every example of commercial communication: wall poster, neon sign, menu, newspaper insert, or assembly instructions.

… What can be done? Some us [professional editors] fantasize wistfully that public opinion could force companies to smarten up. Perhaps the entire body of the Editor’s Association of Canada (supported by an army of annoyed readers and consumers across the nation) could fire off snippy letters to offending presidents and CEOs: “I was shocked by your misspellings, your frequent subject-verb disagreements, and the complete lack of structural coherence in your text. I will never buy your products again unless you hire a decent editor.”

… Not only would big business re-discover its grammatical self-respect, we editors would rediscover ours. We’d be vaulted to our proper place as guardians of linguistic propriety, and occupy positions of power, privilege - and wealth: clutching our style guides all the way to the bank.” (not online)

What she doesn’t seem to understand, either from professional irritation or subconscious elitism, is that most business owners do not have graduate educations in literature. They don’t have on-staff editors. The furthest extent of their pre-publication quality control process is to ask the night guy at Kinko’s: “What do you think?”

More importantly, businesspeople understand that, in some instances, grammatical inaccuracy can be forgiven if the price is right: $35 per room for carpet cleening is alright by me.

Any language evolves - particularly as it is buffeted by technological change and cultural evolution. For a small business owner, there is no need for an extraneous apostrophe, especially if it will mean another $25 added to the bill for the sign.

And really, where do consumers really expect accurate grammar? The library, a bookstore, or maybe Starbucks.

PR folk know Antonia’s pain. We wage a battle on the plains of grammar almost everyday. But we don’t fool ourselves into thinking our writing accomplishes anything more than pushing consumer goods, manufacturing processes, hi-tech toys, or government policies.

Luckily, we get paid well to acquiesce to irrational spellings, poor sentence structure and hyperbolic descriptions.

Ali G’s getting quite a bit of press as the second season of his show begins airing in North America.

USA Today discusses the experiences of several “guests” of Ali’s - Sam Donaldson among them - who were surpised by his inane questions and outrageous dress.

But what he got, he says, was a “crazy” gangsta rapper, drenched in bling and speaking a strange street lingo, who asked him about Richard Nixon’s “Waterworld” crisis.

“He asked about the serious subjects,” Donaldson says, “but in silly, know-nothing-type ways.”

The USA Today piece desperately tries to pull out a trend by discussing the growing number of “ambush” interviews being conducted by satirical shows like Ali’s and Jon Stewart’s.

The best quote?

Cohen, who refused to be interviewed for this story because it wasn’t solely about him ..”

Come on people! The very fact he appeared in a Madonna video should have clued you in!”

Here’s a funny Ali G. translator.
And here are Ali G wavs.

Ever have one of those customer service experiences that leave you cursing uncaring staff and wishing the wrath of complete industrial automation on their store?

We visited the local Loblaws superstore last night. Over 100,000 square feet and twenty check-out lanes. Normally, we use the automated checkout lanes (with their handy U-Scan Express machines), but traffic prompted us to ease the overloaded cart into a traditional checkout lane.

The distinterested teenager at the cash was not a new sight. She mumbled hello and proceeded to swipe each can, bag, vegetable and box across the scanner. There aren’t many jobs more boring than this, but she did bag the groceries in a logical manner: vegetables, breads, cans, freezer stuff.

The real problem was standing at the end of the checkout rollers. Two old biddies, pretending to move bags from the rollers to the cart. In reality, they were bitching and whining about their uniforms (like this).

Judging from their conversation, they have worked for Loblaws for a long time. Long enough to remember one trend towards yellow and brown polyester uniforms. Long enough to learn, and then forget, that ten pound bags of cans should not be dumped on the bread. The cart was piled with bags as they skipped through their memories of awful industrial uniforms and uncaring corporate procurement officers skimping on the natural fabrics.

I know their jobs are long and monotonous. That doesn’t mean they should forget the one cardinal rule: they are employed to help the customer.

My experience last night only confirms that the future of grocery shopping is sitting four aisles down - fast, efficient and a cheaper cost per customer - and will likely mean the old biddies will lose their jobs.

Every July, I tune into the Tour de France. It’s a formidable enterprise, with hundreds of bicyclists straining up impossible hills and racing across hundreds of kilometres. Chasing behind them are hundreds more team managers, equipment cars, motorcycle cameras, helicopters and mobile TV studios.

I dabble in mountain biking. I know the bike manufacturers, the equipment makers, even some of the personalities battling it out during each stage of the race. The leading racers have strong personalities, push big rings through the pain and endure horrible injuries: but any emotional attachment I may develop will eventually end in marketer’s wishes going unfulfilled.

Watching the Tour, you cannot help but be impressed by the marketing strategy put into the event. There are logos, banners, flags, posters, bike stickers, helmet decals, emblazoned shirts, personalized sweaters, and silkscreened bicycling caps everywhere. Every inch of useable space is exploited.

Nevertheless, I am completely disconnected from the marketing juggernaut created to support the Tour. Race organizers boast of the millions of viewers watching the race in dozens upon dozens of countries, but what’s the accuracy of the marketing efforts?

Unfortunately, Coke’s sponsorship didn’t win a convert in the McKay family - I was hooked after my first happy meal at McD’s. I admire the team assembled under the sponsorship of the US Postal Service, but I can’t use their mail service.

I recognize some of the French, Italian and German brand names splashed across the backs of the favoured riders, but I will have no opportunity to run down to the store and pick up some Davitamon. I don’t need a Phonak hearing aid.

Still - I do recognize Sodexho - and remember the regrettable menu selections made by the “chefs” they had working in my university cafeteria.

Warren Kinsella, Liberal party backroom boy, lawyer and sometime author, had a chance to interview Gene Simmons recently. There are some quick comments about greasepaint, Michael Jackson and John Kerry. Worth a read.

WK: If you were marooned on an island, what ten records would you bring with you?

GS: Something by Chilliwack. (laughs) These guys should have been beaten up, very badly, not because they put out good music or bad, but because they had the gall to call their band Chilliwack. You deserve a good bitch-slapping for that.

This is my entry for the Global PR Blog Week, running through tomorrow.

Whether the phones are ringing, camera trucks are showing up at a worksite, union leadership is speaking at a public hearing, or a regulator is issuing safety warnings about your product, it’s pretty clear you’ve got a crisis.

Instead of days or weeks, you’ve got minutes to map out how your organization will respond. You have to demonstrate awareness of the issue, empathize with the community and possible victims, appear knowledgeable to stakeholders, and prepare for detailed questioning from the board, Wall Street analysts, regulators, politicians and the public.

Ideally, you will have already tackled your toughest challenge: preparing your leadership for the glare of the local, national or international spotlight. In some industries, some tough media training will suffice. In others, CEOs, Presidents, General Managers and Plant Managers may be called upon to explain safety or health consequences of an accident clearly and competently.

The key to the success of this dialogue is a corporate culture that understands the benefits of risk communications. It’s a field of study that emphasizes transparency, information sharing, honest consultation processes and accountability.

Effective risk communications forces your organization to identify possible threats to its business, clients, workers, neighbours and other stakeholders - and to work with these groups in developing a shared response. It’s an ongoing process - more effective than a stale binder on a shelf, and more reassuring than a troubleshooter flown in when the first reporter calls.
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Social networks, whether personal or electronic, are based on shared experiences, common interests, transparency and trust. Friendster’s decision to sell Dreamworks an advertising package for Will Ferrell’s Anchorman - including fictitious Friendster profiles for the film’s characters - will likely undermine efforts to encourage participation in online social networks by anyone beyond dedicated online users. (ClickZ)

The British Office of Fair Trading has taken aim at pushy doorstep salesmen with a new information campaign - your doorstep, your decision.

A useful initiative, but also a perfect opportunity to recall some favourite movie quotes:

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - Mexico’s attorney general said on Monday he had had a microchip inserted under the skin of one of his arms to give him access to a new crime database and also enable him to be traced if he is ever abducted.

Attorney General Rafael Macedo said a number of his staff had also been fitted with chips which will give them exclusive and secure access to a national, computerized database for crime investigators that went live on Monday.

Great plan, Robin! Let’s make sure the evil crime overlords don’t find out about our … wait. Oops. Dammit! (said in a Kelso voice)

I wonder if the embedded chip actually has to be attached to a COMPLETE living body to be effective?

You may already be familiar with one of the actors on Trailer Park Boys, if not the show itself. Jonathan Torrens is appearing as “Gerald” the gay waiter on the latest edition of the Joe Schmo franchise.

The Trailer Park Boys takes a visceral yet outrageously funny look at life inside the Sunnyvale Trailer Park. Characters like Ricky, Julian, Randy and Bubbles play out their lives in this fetid cultural petri dish - swearing, growing dope, getting jailed, and getting into fights with the half-naked security guard.

Lately, the Trailer Park Boys have been jumping the divide between pay cable and reality: Bubbles was spouting his opinion about the recent Canadian election, and the whole gang is now being featured in a radio spot for a payday loan company.

You would wonder if a company would want to associate itself with a bunch of foulmouthed, law-breaking and deadbeat trailer park trash. Unless you were trying to bridge the gap between your traditional customer base and the youth demographic that tunes into the Trailer Park Boys on Showtime and BBC America.

Andrew Clark, an instructor at Humber College’s School of Comedy in Toronto, explains the show’s appeal - to the viewing public as well as to a very select group of advertisers.

“Good comedy characters are generally what you’d call ‘low-status,’” he says. “Most people can relate much more easily to a guy who’s on the low end trying to get by and make his way or her way, than they can with someone who has everything.”

In other words, what matters is that the folks in the trailer park are underdogs. Clark sees them being in the same mold as Wayne Campbell, the goofus created by Mike Myers, or the lovable losers brought to life on the big screen by John Candy. They are part of a tradition that stretches all the way back to Greek comedy.

“You just want to root for these guys because, you know what? They’re not trying to hurt anyone. And the folks that they are trying to hurt kind of deserve it: the government, insurance companies – the overdogs, as it were,” notes [Executive Producer Mike] Volpe. “So these guys are just trying to eke out a living. There’s a little bit of a Robin Hood thing going on: they steal from the rich to give to the poor, which happens to be themselves.”

Ahh. The radio ad makes sense, then, because payday loan companies have always portrayed themselves as standing up for the little guy, being the backup when the big bad bank just won’t cut you a break - or a cheque.

Speaking of payday loan advertising - I’ve told you once, and I’ll tell you again, to look at this sendup of Scottish frugality (.mov) from Money Mart. And here’s an opinon column on Scottish stereotyping in ads from a recent issue of Marketing Magazine.

The Great Leader, Mao Tse-Tung, sure knew how to turn a phrase. I don’t hold my hopes up for the new cadre of spokespeople being let loose by the PRC State Council Information Office.

The party apparatus has apparently decided that government departments and agencies need to develop a minimal level of response in the face of an accelerating international media environment. After all, you can only block so many websites and expect foreign stringers to read so many roadside hoardings and decipher official party organs.

“Being a spokesman is a high-risk occupation. Every sentence is another opportunity to make a mistake,” confides Liu Jianchao, vice-director of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs’ Information Department and one of the ministry’s three spokesmen. “But if you don’t speak or provide information, that’s the biggest mistake.”

The 40-year-old, Cambridge-educated Liu is emblematic of China’s younger, more polished and professional spokesmen. He deftly fields and parries questions in front of the cameras, and banters cordially with foreign reporters behind them. While spokesmen are often limited to the sort of boilerplate that veteran correspondents could recite in their sleep, Liu is confident in his ability to give ample information within the prescribed limits. “You come as close to the line as possible without crossing it,” he explains. (Far Eastern Economic Review, sub. req.)

Before you get all excited about a great leap forward in media relations in China, you should know that these spokespersons will remain in their functional positions - they will not be media specialists. If they stray from the approved position, a spokesperson could lose BOTH their jobs.

The FEER throws a nice cheap shot at the end of their story:

When training spokesmen, [Wang Guoqing, deputy director of the State Council Information Office] tells them that they “must not treat reporters as minions, students, friends or enemies.” …

And he reminds them to leave time for reporters to ask questions by handing out prepared speeches instead of spending entire press conferences reading them. As if they didn’t know.

Ouch. Then again, there’s nothing like a carefully recited treatise on the state of China-Vietnam fishery agreements to perk a foreign correspondent’s ears!

The Congressional-Executive Commission on China singled out one group of spokespersons it characterized as the “free speech elite.” In identifying various controls on free speech and the media in China during its investigation into the SARs epidemic, it observed:

This group is composed of senior government and Communist Party leaders, those with the patronage of these leaders and, to a lesser extent, academics. Although not immune to the vagaries of PRC law, members of this group are able to express concerns and criticism of the government with less fear of punishment than the average PRC citizen.

The operative principle could be expressed as follows: the degree to which the government is willing to tolerate criticism of its leaders and policies is contingent upon the size and nature of the audience and the ideological credentials of the speaker. The PRC government has thus transformed the constitutional right of free speech for the people into a political privilege of freer speech for the ideological elite.

The University of New Brunswick has told a student in their summer English immersion program that he must issue commands to his guide dog in English - despite the dog being as Francophone as his master.

This is an interesting dispute in its own right, but I’m more interested in the tortuous logic used by the university’s talking head as she tried to explain their strict adherence to English-only standards. Speaking to the National Post,

Susan Mesheau, the university’s director of public relations, said that permitting Mr. Tessier to speak French to Pavot during the immersion program would be like admitting someone with sub-standard marks into the engineering faculty.

“We cannot lower a standard,” she said in an interview from Fredericton. “‘OK, you’re a nice guy, I’ll lower it for you. You might not be as good an engineer. You might build bridges that people can fall off of, but that’s OK.’ That’s silliness. Academic standards are academic standards.”

The university has some strong points to make about their program, its success, and the strict requirement to work, speak and live only in English. Today, they received even-handed coverage in a number of Canadian papers (here and here). My admittedly selective quote illustrates two points important for all spokespersons:

Young professionals apparently do not rely upon mentoring relationships to guide their nascent careers - according to a Harvard study. Researchers working on Making Good: How Young People Cope with Moral Dilemmas at Work took a look at a number of issues, but their observations about mentoring are startling:

… For the most part, however, young professionals did not speak of close meaningful mentor relationships in their professional training and workplace, especially as compared to more veteran workers’ discussions of mentors and paragons in their own professional development.

As young people advanced in their professions, however, we found that the function and importance of mentors and role models differed across profession. Young professional journalists in particular lamented the lack of mentors on the job, though those who had attended journalism school often spoke admiringly of professors, and almost all the young journalists looked to exemplary institutions (e.g., the New York Times) as standards.

While young actors looked to distant luminaries as models in their work, they were more likely to depend upon themselves and to look to their immediate theater community than to cite individual mentors.

In contrast, in the regimented career trajectory of science, close formal mentorship was central throughout training. While this formal mentoring was described positively by some, others spoke about challenging and even competitive relationships with mentors.

Overall, we were concerned that very few participants in our study described mentors who exemplified “good work.”

In fact, some participants described how their corporate or professional seniors had noted that they would have to bend the rules or pursue unethical tracks in order to succeed.

Christian ministries used to depend upon tried-and-true direct marketing techniques to win your spiritual allegiance, your continued viewership, and your money. With every call, you might recieve a free book, christmas ornaments, or discounts at religious theme parks.

We’ve all moved way beyond 700 Club bumper stickers and Jesus Fish. Creation East, held late last month, offered an opportunity for Christians from across the spectrum to meet, debate, and buy an unprecedented number of themed t-shirts, tchotchkes and albums.

The parellel trade show, the NYT observed, reflected a growing trend towards expressing one’s Christianity in a non-traditional way, whether through rock music, independent ministries or witty t-shirts.

“I was never comfortable with the shirts in Christian bookstores,” said Jeremy Limpic, 28, who is selling his own line of punk-themed T-shirts and hats at about 10 Christian festivals this summer … he [is] sometimes uneasy about the intermingling of faith and commerce at the festivals. “You come in these places and it’s a major Christian marketing scene,” he said. “There’s a quick buck to be made for Christ. But the way I see it, I’m going to make money in a secular way or expressing my faith.”

Still, there is an uneasy relationship between religious activities and outright commercial activity.

As evening settled over the bands, three teenagers sat around a campfire, taking a break. A speaker earlier in the day had called for donations to missions in the developing world. At the end of a long day, the boys had come to regret their purchases.

“I spent all my money on five CD’s,” said Scott Hanson, 13, in a tone of self-reproach. “If I’d waited, I’d be able to spend that money on someone other than myself.”

His friend Luke Beckmeyer came away with a similar lesson. He had been reluctant to come because he didn’t like music, he said. But the band Pillar had converted him. “I came here hoping to get a new video card for my computer, but after doing small groups and hearing the music, I realize it’s not all about me,” he said. “The speakers really get to you. Too bad I spent all my money on a Pillar T-shirt and CD’s.”

Heh. I’d have to say the marketing overwhelmed the message in this instance.

As he turned to pick the football from the air, Doug Stevenson reflected on the day’s events.

He had brought his sales managers to this Wyoming dude ranch to help them refocus after an exceptionally bad quarter.

The 10,000 acre spread had begun life as a hobby ranch for an East Coast management consultant. His income had declined as his telecom customers had imploded, one by one.

Looking for some extra revenue, he opened his eighteen bedroom ranch to Fortune 500 management teams looking for a little direction and a few days away from the grind.

Together, the consultant and the salesmen had drilled down to some core objectives, identifying accounts with greater potential for growth, and those needing pruning.

That all changed as Stevenson planted his foot in the loose gravel. A pull, then a twinge, finally searing pain: he dropped to the ground with a torn MCL.
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Generation X just can’t get cut any slack. We’ve morphed into nice upstanding members of society - ambitious, adaptive, aggressive - but we just don’t compare well with the Nintendo Generation now beginning to leave college.

This time around, an author and videogaming exec writing in strategy + business magazine has decided that everyone under 25 is a “digital native” - the rest of us are “digital immigrants”:

This generation is better than any before at absorbing information and making decisions quickly, as well as at multitasking and parallel processing. In contrast, people age 30 or older are “digital immigrants” because they can never be as fluent in technology as a native who was born into it. You can see it in the digital immigrants’ “accent” — whether it is printing out e-mails or typing with fingers rather than thumbs. Have you ever noticed that digital natives, unlike digital immigrants, don’t talk about “information overload”? Rather, they crave more information.

Nice analogy. Some very good insights about corporate and societal attitudes towards young employees and how their abilities aren’t sufficiently recognized in a traditional hierarchy. Reality, though, suffers at the hands of this analysis.

I have been “typing with my thumbs” since I picked up Mattel Football in 1978. I would argue that my endless hours trying to program a Sinclair personal computer with a pencil eraser more than qualify me as a digital native. Don’t even get me started on the Colecovision personal computer with dual tape drives.

There’s even a throwaway mention of blogs, just to prove the old fogeys don’t “get it”:

Unfortunately, many digital immigrant leaders — including many of those who claim to be “plugged in” — don’t get the fact that digital natives bring unique capabilities to large organizations. Often, immigrant managers are caught between their old beliefs and the new realities they observe. As one senior executive put it: “Blogging has proven the vitality of participatory journalism. Now there are people like me coming along and trying to figure out how to package it.” That is simply digital ignorance, say the natives: There’s far more to blogging than the next new product.

In the end, this article is just a rehash of a dozen years’ worth of academic study and consultant’s observations about how to motivate Generation “X” and Generation “Y” employees.

It’s almost a Coles/Cliffs Notes to past Harvard Business Review writing on this subject. Well, maybe an internet-bought term paper.

Don’t count the Atari Generation out yet.