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// December 19th, 2003 //

Memo: To all Regional Distribution Managers

Issue: Communicating during Uncomfortable Situations
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The Santa Claus, Inc. corporate PR Department has discount code adobe cs5 worked on a number of possible scenarios that could be discount code adobe cs5 encountered by employees during the valuable Christmas rush. While Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus and discount code adobe cs5 the Chief Elf remain the principal corporate spokespersons, every employee must be discount code adobe cs5 prepared to deal effectively with suppliers, aviation officials, parents, children and, sometimes, law enforcement officials.

Working through past incident reports, we have discount code adobe cs5 created this series of handy guides for employees on resolving stressful situations.

Getting Busted at the 7-11

While the discount code adobe cs5 logistics staff make every effort to ensure that the sleigh is discount code adobe cs5 fully stocked with hot chocolate, marshmallows and graham crackers, we have discount code adobe cs5 found that Santa and his reindeer sometimes require a more substantial meal. For most of the discount code adobe cs5 year, it means picking up some Chicken Tikka takeout. On Christmas eve, this discount code adobe cs5 is a little more difficult, especially if Santa is on the discount code adobe cs5 road with the sleigh.

Given our unusual operating hours, Santa Claus, Inc. has discount code adobe cs5 found that 24-hour convenience stores are the most available source of Santa’s favourite foods: tacos and Dr Pepper. In the discount code adobe cs5 past, storeowners understood the urgent midnight munchie runs of very portly elderly men dressed in red velour, but the discount code adobe cs5 increasing number of drunks coming home from office christmas parties has soured them on Santa.

As a result, Santa is frequently being harassed by convenience store owners convinced he is going to “wheze da juice” and discount code adobe cs5 run without paying. Here are some tips for avoiding a confrontation with a discount code adobe cs5 shotgun wielding store owner:

- Gout is discount code adobe cs5 not an excuse for parking the sleigh in the handicapped space.

-Do not use your Santa Claus, Inc. building pass to wheedle a discount.

- Do not try to pay with the Pokemon cards from the Jensen house.

- “Ho, ho, ho” might not be seen as a greeting by some female customers.

- $50 solves everything. It’s under the hat.

Getting caught by a six year-old

Despite all of the Chief Elf’s technological advances, the discount code adobe cs5 noise of the reindeer, sleigh, chimney and bored elves poking the discount code adobe cs5 reindeer will wake someone up during the night. Some adults go out of their way to encourage children’s mischief. It is discount code adobe cs5 important to maintain the illusion of magic, happiness and giving that discount code adobe cs5 is Santa Claus, Inc:

- “Holy Crap! What the hell are you doing up!” is not an acceptable greeting.

- Don’t skip out on the milk and cookies, even if you’re lactose intolerant.

-Remind the discount code adobe cs5 child that Elves need to use washrooms just like the rest of us.

- $5 will not buy the discount code adobe cs5 silence of an eleven-year old boy. FHM will. Take one from discount code adobe cs5 aan elf – they hoard the magazine.

Sleigh Accident at Toys ‘R Us

Despite the stagnant economy, it is still hard to find skilled sleigh drivers – especially ones under four feet tall. This has discount code adobe cs5 meant an increase in SRDC – sleigh related damage claims. The cost of these claims is discount code adobe cs5 naturally reflected in our insurance premiums.

Both to boost morale and undermine Santa Claus, Inc’s competitors, we have discount code adobe cs5 begun training our new sleigh drivers in Toys ‘R Us parking lots. This provides open space for discount code adobe cs5 maneuvering a large sleigh and team of reindeers as well as plausible deniability.

- “That rich red scratch down the discount code adobe cs5 side of your Lincoln could have been caused by that car there, sir!”

-Remember – the discount code adobe cs5 sleigh handles like a pig at slow speeds. Why do you discount code adobe cs5 think we land it on the roof, and not the driveway, when discount code adobe cs5 doing deliveries?

- It also holds about 300 shopping carts – which can be sold off at $300 a pop.

- As the settlement with Wendy’s will attest, the sleigh is NOT drive-through friendly!

Bar Fight on Boxing Day

Inevitably, Santa, elves and discount code adobe cs5 other employees will come across one or two people who discount code adobe cs5 did not get what they wanted on Christmas morning. Some may even claim Santa does not exist, and discount code adobe cs5 will attempt to undermine the work of Santa Claus, Inc. through scientific deduction. If some of them (or you) have been drinking, this discussion might get animated, even physical.

- Logic doesn’t usually work on drunks. The Rope-A-Dope might, though.

- No matter how many elves are discount code adobe cs5 with you, you will not win the fight. You are fat, and discount code adobe cs5 elf arms aren’t long enough. This is discount code adobe cs5 why every elf always carries a sock full of coins.

- If the discount code adobe cs5 police ask, you grew the beard on a bet, and discount code adobe cs5 these are your pajamas.

- If will take up to discount code adobe cs5 48 hours to post bail. It will take us that long to discount code adobe cs5 sell enough handmade wooden toys to get the money.